What this twin mom wants you to know (but doesn't have the time to tell you).
Since I’ve always shared pieces of my “real life” with you here in this blog - from quitting my job, to the brutal truths about being a yoga teacher - it only seemed fitting to write about my current reality, which is parenting twin babies and a toddler. It’s a wild ride I tell ya. Read along in this multi-part series as I delve into my experiences with twins from pregnancy until now, navigating my life as a #twinmom.
As a new mom of twins, I have found many aspects of this adventure surprising, including other people’s reactions and comments. Since I often leave an interaction thinking of all the things I wish I would have said, I’ve decided to share some of it here. It seems that there are a lot of misconceptions about being a parent of twins out there, and just a lot of things people can’t know or understand if they haven’t lived it. If you’re reading this as a new or expecting parent to twins - congrats! - maybe this series will help prepare you a tiny bit. If you’re reading this as someone who doesn’t have twins, maybe it’ll inform the way you respond to a twin parent in the future.
Read to the end to see what items helped me make it through my twin pregnancy with some level of comfort!
As many people are, I was totally shocked when I found out I was pregnant with identical twins. To be honest, I had been shocked I was pregnant at all. It was a three year journey, navigating fertility challenges and a miscarriage, to get pregnant with our son who was 16 months old, and we hadn't been "trying" for this pregnancy. Now it's very important to me, before we go any further, that you understand this - I believe any healthy baby born is, and should be treated as, a huge blessing and I am incredibly grateful for my children. This is and continues to be true as I share with you that this whole "twin mom" thing is incredibly difficult. It isn't simply matching onesies, but matching illness (you know what's worse than a sick baby - two sick babies), matching food allergies (think two babies having a delayed vomiting reaction to an allergen - at the same time), and matching meltdowns (there's quite a bit of crying when the math is simply against you in being able to meet everyones needs at once).
The only thing that has surprised me as much as the initial "reveal", has been the responses I received from friends, family, and strangers when they learned about my pregnancy, or now, when I am out in the world with my children. On mulitiple occasions I have been caught completely off guard by people's comments and am continuously surprised at how novel the idea of twins is to people and how little is truly known about it (I learned a ton after finding out). So, let’s talk about a twin pregnancy, starting with this truth.
Twin Pregnancy can be stressful and scary.
One of the first and most common questions I get asked when I mention my twins is always "do twins run in your family?" followed by "are they identical?". However, when you come to find yourself pregnant with mulitiples you quickly learn that "fraternal" and "identical" is not the entire picture. You also learn that there are a lot of people who declare they are “jealous” or have always wanted twins. These people clearly have never been pregnant with two babies at once.
There are two types of twin or multiple pregnancies and they are categorized as dizygotic or monozygotic and each carries it's own risks. Fraternal twins are always dizygotic as they are the result of a person ovulating more than one egg and each of those egg's is fertilized. These types of pregnancys are referred to as dichorionic - diamniotic, meaning each embryo has it's own placenta and amniotic sac. Fraternal twins can “run in the family” but only on the mothers side. If your grandma or mom ovulated more than one egg, this is something you may also do, this the chance of twins being higher.
Identical twins are monozygotic as they occur when a single fertilized egg splits, resulting in identical twins. This process is completely random, as far as I understand, no family history required. Within this category there are two types of pregnancies - monochorionic-monoamniotic (mono-mono or mo-mo) which means the embryos share both a placenta and amniotic sac, and monochorionic- diamniotic (mono-di or mo-di), shared placenta, but their amniotic sac is divided by a thin membrane which means they have their own sacs. My pregnancy was mono-di, which I learned is the second highest risk out of the three.
The risks and complications in mulitiple pregnancies occur for both mom and babies. Besides things like Twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) which you are monitored closely for in a monochorionic pregnancy, you are also at high risk for gestational diabetes, high blood pressure and preeclampsia, and preterm labour. Twins are more likely to be born premature and even if they go to "full term" which I was told would be 37 weeks with a mono-di pregnancy, twins generally have lower birth weights. Pre-Mature birth can lead to a wide variety of complications and medical concerns depending on the gestation a baby is born. So, as I was quickly being educated on all of these risks and complications and reading up on what to expect from a NICU stay for babies born from 32 weeks on, not to mention how terrible I felt (the nausea just hangs on way longer than the first trimester), I found myself overwhelmed, stressed, and scared. I was worried for my babies, myself, my future, the future of my family - did you know the divorce rate of parents of mulitiples is higher than average? Every time someone would tell me how envious they were of me I felt so confused. It didn’t feel like a situation that someone should be wishing for.
I ended up having a pretty uneventful pregnancy as far as twin pregnancy goes, but I still landed in the hospital at 28 weeks with a preterm labor scare and ended up going into labor at 34 weeks 5 days. I was monitored every 2 weeks, until about 31 weeks when they had some concerns over the size of the babies and fluid levels, so for the last few weeks of my pregnancy I went in twice a week for extra checks. My babies were born 4lbs 6 oz and 5lbs 1 oz via c section and stayed in the NICU for 9 and 10 days. It was terrifying, physically and emotionally exhausting, and I will forever be changed by the experience. My heart goes out to parents with kiddos in the NICU for longer stays.
So, my twin pregnancy ended with two amazing and healthy little boys with the exact same genetic make up. It still feels miraculous to be honest. That pregnancy felt like one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. I was stretched to my limits - physically and emotionally. Giving birth was the end of one journey and the beginning of another one. But more about that next time.
If you or someone you know if experiencing a twin pregnancy, here is a list of my “must haves” for navigating it.
Note: as an amazon associate I earn on qualifying purchases.
Maternity Seat Belt Clip - this was amazing. Keeps the belt off your belly so you and babies are safe. Also so much more comfortable and amazing for post c-section car rides.
Belly Support band - my back and pelvis pain was pretty bad and a good belt helped relieve some of the pain.
Ginger gravol - again.. the nausea
Lululemon Align Leggings - my belly got pretty big and these stayed comfy AND didn’t stretch out so I still wear them now and they are amazing.
If you have questions feel free to ask in the comments below and I’ll do my best to answer!