On September 23rd I gave my 3-weeks notice (to my incredibly supportive boss) at my job of the last 4 years. I have made the decision to step out on my own and put everything in to growing my business and teaching Yoga. It has, and continues to be, one of the scarier things I've done in my life. It seems like a big risk, but at the same time, like something I HAD to do - for my soul and all that :) Since I gave my notice, I've been blogging in "draft" form and will now be sharing those posts every Wednesday for the next little while. I will be sharing my real-time feelings, thoughts, as well as tips and tricks for going out on your own, and of course, my wins and losses. Enjoy!
September 23, 2016
I gave my notice at work today, and to be honest I’m afraid. Afraid that I am making a mistake. Afraid that I won’t have enough money after leaving the security of a steady paycheck behind. Afraid that I am not enough to do the things I dream of doing. But the important thing is, I didn’t let that fear stop me.
So, how did I get here?
Honestly, a little bit of burn-out., a lot of realizing that I wanted something more and a desire for freedom.
Also, I painted myself into a corner. I'd recommend doing that when you are afraid. It's effective.
Mug and journal were both generous gifts from my lovely coworkers - shop for the mug here
I knew I wanted something different and not just another "job". I wanted to really chase this dream of mine, but the fear was big and real and difficult to maneuver around, so I didn’t leave myself any choice. When I started getting offers to teach daytime Yoga classes this fall, instead of saying I wasn’t available because I worked full time, I said YES. It’s kind of like that quote, just say yes and figure it out later. That’s basically what I did.
Once I had committed to these classes I started to plan. I would need to build my teaching schedule and pay my debt down and save some money. I would have to speak to my loving and supportive partner and decide on an appropriate time to give my notice.
And then the week arrived.
This was the week I would be giving my notice. By Thursday the fear was sitting on my stomach and making me feel like I was going to vomit. I went over the numbers again and again realising the fear was making me cling to my plan as though it would get me through these unknown waters. This plan - financial and otherwise - was my lifeboat, but it felt more like an anchor. I was holding on to my plan so tight that I started to feel great anxiety about it falling apart. It could not fall apart – one class could not vacate my schedule because this was my source of future income and the only reason I am quitting my job tomorrow!! Then, I remembered that you can’t work from a place of fear. I remembered that if you hold on to things so tightly they have no space to breathe, you kill them, instead of letting them grow.
So, I let go and handed in my notice.
Don’t get me wrong, planning is important, but if things change, fall apart, or morph into something I couldn’t have even imagined, then I will go with it. This is life. You can't plan for everything, and in the end it will all be ok - otherwise it's not the end right?
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